When likes become lifelines: how social media is quietly reshaping girls’ mental health- and not for the better
As part of our ongoing book club series, we’ve been diving into The Anxious Generation, a timely and sobering look at the impact of smartphones and social media on Gen Z. One of the most alarming patterns explored is how these digital forces uniquely—and often devastatingly—affect girls more than boys. But why is that? And what can we do to protect them in a world that rarely logs off?
The chapter “Why Social Media Harms Girls More Than Boys” opens with a gut-wrenching story of an 11-year-old girl who spiraled into depression just months after downloading Instagram. Tragically, her story isn’t an outlier—it’s a reflection of a disturbing trend. Research consistently shows a direct correlation between screen time and rising levels of depression among young girls.
So what makes girls more vulnerable? According to the book, the reasons are fourfold:
Girls are especially sensitive to visual comparisons, often internalizing the curated, idealized bodies and lifestyles they see online.
While boys tend to express aggression physically, girls' aggression is often relational—through social exclusion, ridicule, and comparison, which are all amplified on digital platforms.
Girls are natural emotional sharers, and in the hyperconnected world of social media, this can create echo chambers of anxiety and sadness.
Online spaces have also made it disturbingly easy for predatory behavior to go unchecked. Preteen girls are increasingly targeted by older men and pressured by peers to share revealing photos—an issue made worse by the lack of accountability behind a screen.
It’s bleak—but not hopeless.
We’re not powerless. The book’s companion site offers a toolkit of resources for families ready to take back control.
One initiative that stands out is the NoSo movement, a school-based collective digital detox that helps kids opt out of social media together. No more fear of missing out—because everyone’s unplugging at once.
Another gem is Khan Academy’s thoughtful guide to social media literacy. It gives both parents and children a clear-eyed view of how these platforms work—and the subtle ways they shape our behavior.
And for us adults, there’s the 30-Day Phone Breakup Challenge. Aimed at helping grown-ups reset their relationship with their devices, this challenge is a daily invitation to unplug with purpose. (Confession: my toddler recently mimicked my scrolling habit—and yes, it was a wake-up call.)
The bottom line? We know the harm. We know the why. And now, we’re learning the how—to push back.
Let’s use this knowledge to reshape our relationship with tech—and protect the generation growing up in its shadow.
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