Game Over: How Excessive Gaming Is Rewiring Young Minds

In The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt argues that excessive screen time—especially from smartphones and social media—has had a particularly damaging effect on young people’s mental health, with young boys and girls affected in different ways. In my previous blog post I discussed the damaging impact of social media on young girls’ mental health but what about boys? We know that boys mental health is also declining but can we link this to excessive screen time?

For boys, Haidt proposes that video games and online platforms are the problem, often replacing real-world social interaction and physical activity. While these digital spaces can offer community and entertainment, overuse is linked to increased isolation, reduced attention spans, and emotional dysregulation. Boys may not show anxiety in the same way girls do, but Haidt suggests their struggles often manifest as withdrawal, irritability, or behavioral issues.

He also emphasizes that boys are more likely to use screens as a coping mechanism when they’re already experiencing emotional difficulties—creating a feedback loop that can deepen their challenges.

So as parents how can we help?

Helping young boys find balance with gaming isn’t about going full shutdown mode, but rather guiding them toward healthier habits. Here are some thoughtful strategies parents can try:

1. Set clear, consistent limits: Create a gaming schedule with firm rules about when and how long they can play. Consistency builds expectations and cuts down on arguments.

2. Involve them in the plan: Kids are more likely to stick with limits they help create. Let them have input—it gives them a sense of control and accountability.

3. Offer compelling alternatives: Replace gaming time with other fun activities like sports, art, building projects, or outdoor adventures. Boredom is often a major reason kids turn to screens.

4. Connect games to goals: Use gaming as a reward for finishing homework, chores, or outdoor time. It becomes a tool rather than a default.

5. Be curious, not combative: Talk about the games they love. Understanding what they enjoy helps bridge the gap and opens doors for trust and compromise.

6. Be a role model: Kids notice everything. If you’re glued to your phone or TV, they’ll follow suit. Show them how to unplug.

7. Use tech to your advantage: Parental controls and screen time tracking tools can reinforce limits without turning every evening into a negotiation.

Every child is different, but the big idea is to create an environment that nudges them gently toward balance, not battles.